impatient, obnoxious, petty, argumentative, and obsessed over meaningless details

Tag Archives: lampin out cars

Vietnamese police smoking ban

In Vietnam, black sunglasses are now banned for its police officers, along with smoking and chatting on the job. And traffic cops have been order to stop hiding behind trees to catch errant drivers. Vietnamese officials hope the changes will improve the police force’s notoriously bad reputation.

If we could only get our guys to get off the phone and to stop eating fish and chips.

Story from Sunday Times.


I had a short but strange encounter with a pikey at ikea. I had just stopped in the carpark and I had heard a strange noise that was like a plastic bag stuck under the car. I was looking under to see if I could figure out what it was when he came over and asked me “can I have that one”. I had no idea what he could mean and he said “the parking space, we want to back the truck in”. I said “no problem” and I moved my car.
I realised the front number plate was missing and I said to the guy walking away “the license plate is after falling off”. He offered me the instant wisdom of a man who presumably spent a lot of time on the road “sure I suppose you have no idea where you lost it”.

I saw him inside 30 minutes later pushing a trolley of flatpack furniture towards the till and I found the number plate near a speed bump outside. God bless the pikea.

(Not to be confused with Pākehā which is “a Māori term for New Zealanders who are not of Māori blood line. They are mostly descended from British and to a lesser extent Irish settlers of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.”)

oooh ahhhh

I wonder if he got out and pushed. Its a bit Irish.

Celebrate good Obama come on

the day the celtic tiger died for good

As rare as actual Tigers on these shores is a Ferrari. I wonder what is more heartbreaking for the owner of this one – the depreciation or having to wait in the queue at NCT Deansgrange. Would the machines even be able to measure what comes out of this beast? Sadly there is not even the option of bribing the NCT people with 100 euros to pass it without even testing it.

nct deansgrange

Thanks to Damo for this and all the other material.


Google captured a marvelous rural scene which rivals Bertie on streetview:

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justice denied

I got three summons in December for an ‘alleged incident’ that took place in June that I wrote about in always something there to remind you. Garda A tried his best to be fair the day he stopped me but his complete lack of any form of procedure and his shell bracelet annoyed me so much that I drove off without even asking him his name. I didn’t think it was a big deal to be driving a car with my National Car test certificate five months expired and certainly not something worth five points and a fine. I had been travelling all day and I was almost home and I got stopped. I had been at a music festival in Germany. I had to share an armrest on the plane with someone who looked like they had been at the love parade stampede and I did not appreciate the attention of Garda A (whose surname strangely enough ends with ‘ham’). He was standing in the middle of a dark road like Dick Turpin that night in August. He didn’t have a gun out but this image seems to fit my mood today:

Garda B delivered the summonses and was a nice person and he thought it was all a storm in a teacup. He could not believe that I was getting summonsed even though I had produced the relevant paperwork at the Garda station and was going to contact Garda A on my behalf. I went to visit Garda A in the station two nights in a row in December but he was not there. I left a letter and copies of the paperwork with all the details on the first night. I left an envelope too but I didn’t put the letter inside it, hoping that they would all have a read of it. I was told by the female Garda at the counter in the station that it would be struck out. As I waited at the counter ‘the unit’ had just come on duty for the first time that week and males and females were discussing which colleague fancied which other one and who they should put on duty together. The sergent turned to me and said “isnt it mad”. I replied “its the same everywhere”, not quite sure why I had said that. On my visit on the second night Garda A was again not there but he called my phone. He said that if the paperwork checked out he would get it struck out and would call me to confirm.

I never did get the phone call so I went along to court just in case. Read more of this post

Drug Driving

I eventually found the page for the RSA anti drug driving campaign … on facebook strangely enough. You can watch the ads on their page but I found some of their research material.

To be fair I think this is the correct order in which cocaine, marijuana and ecstasy should be taken in to have the best night out. It looks to me like someone took the real drugs they were going to use for the ad (maybe the photographer did it) and they were forced to use some icing sugar, the worst rolled spliff I have ever seen and some breath mints. Only someone out of their head on real drugs would think this is convicing.

The next poster outlines the dangers of driving on cannabis, cocaine, heroin and ecstasy. Fair enough but I would suspect that most people who are driving on drugs are drunk and are off to find more drugs. A tv campaign with people driving a 5 series bmw after a pill is not going to calm their drug urge. A headshop selling mephedrone is.

Cannabis interferes with your ability or willingness to pay attention, making it extremely dangerous to drive.

Tell that to someone who just had a spliff and is trying to break their record on Colin McRae’s rally.

Heroin provides a feeling of euphoria and relief of all pain, but in doing so it slows your reflexes and harms your hand/eye co-ordination. Drivers on heroin will not be able to see properly, concentrate on the road or react quickly enough to avoid a crash.

Read more of this post

serves me right

After my strange last post it was ironic that I passed 3 people on Monday afternoon as they pissed in public. One guy even faced traffic while doing it. It is probably due to the lack of almost any petrol station beside the road that links Dublin and Cork. Last year I saw someone squat down in a bush only yards from a hotel.

always something there to remind you

Every time I leave Ireland the trip through the airport on the way back serves to remind you of the annoying things about living here. There are interactions that you dont seem to get at other times. The people flying from Düsseldorf to Dublin yesterday were definetly strange. The first sight of some fugg boots in a few days reminded me of where I was going back to. At the duty free checkout the German sales assistant had to interrupt my transaction to ask a bird from Wexford where she was travelling to. She had 400 bensons but had not taken the duty paid and had to go back. I knew she was from Wexford as her only concern was ‘are day da same’. The hot checkout assistant thought I was German and said some people just dont know. I told her in German that they were from the same country as me, but it was on a sign. She then said ‘some people just dont read’. I walked away cheerfully rather than embarassed. It was rare for me to mock my own people with a German but I could get used to it.

Some young builders from up north were led by alpha chav in a von dutch t-shirt. There were two middle aged coupled who talked constantly about the duty free.

There was a girl in the airport with sunglasses on at night. She was drinking with her friends. I was delighted to be sitting next to her. She had seemed to have lost her laces and the zip of her jeans and she could’nt sit still. They were also from Wexford. The only conclusion I could come to was that her friends had to go to Germany to rescue her from the excesses of something. Come to think of it maybe she had been at the love parade.

There were the guys from near the border who were clapping when we touched down. One of them shouted ‘I’m a sausage’ after we landed.

Read more of this post


this is something I found again lately. I got it from two guys from sligo who were trying to sell a car in northern australia. It gets so hot there that you need to fill your car with water every. These guys drove thousands of miles with no oil or water. Great selling technique.


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