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impatient, obnoxious, petty, argumentative, and obsessed over meaningless details

Tag Archives: fight club

taking a piss on the luas

why its just like the hills

I had a strange night in the suburbs at stepaside. I made the mistake of believing my old colleagues who said it was near the luas. I got directions over the phone from somebody from a romania who punctuated every sentence with the word “right”. I naturally got lost a few times. The place was dull and seemed to be populated by young families and dudes in pimped out bmws.

After an hour of Jay Z on MTV I knew this night had gone down the shitter, it was only a matter of how far down we would be at the end. I was glad I had only brought two beers. I even considered pouring half of my second one down the sink and going somewhere else. We watched some youtube and ate some pizza and decided to call it quits and to try to find the luas again.

At night the place looked much different. The apartment blocks that I saw being assembled from the back of a truck a few years ago actually looked nice a few hours later. In the daytime you notice an open face mine and some tv aerials in the background. You can also see how the exposed timber that is not yet 5 years old is starting to rot.

They way home was even less fun. The wait between trains was 17 minutes. We spotted some young guys on the platform and Nick said “they will be providing tonight’s entertainment”, and how right he was. The alpha knacker in the soiled tracksuit looked like he had sat on mud. He threw a bottle onto the street but it failed to break and just bounced along, he was probably disappointed by that showing. He was on the train and his antics just grew. He tried to take his friends jacket off and throw it out the door at the next stop. After that I heard him say “my brother was too afraid to smoke on the luas”. He put a rolled cigarette up to his lips and said “but I am not my brother” and he lit it. When nobody reacted in any way to what he had done he got up and opened the window. When we stopped at the next station he was looking around to make sure he was not going to be caught. He had his back to us and I started saying “they are here, they are here”.

I wished out loud that the security would get on the train and catch him. Once this round had ended without him showing something good he decided to up the ante and whip out his (presumably small) penis and urninate on the wall of the train. I said “I am calling the cops, get off the train”. He legged it to the front of the train and one of his mates too. His other friend stayed and said “he is only drunk”. I said “get off the train” and he left too. Then we stopped at dundrum and the security stepped on the train and I pointed at the piss and told them to look for a guy in a tracksuit at the end of the train. As they walked along the carriages he walked out the door. As he was going by us I said “that’s right you little fucking asshole” and he scurried up the stairs with his tail between his legs.

The security did not want to let the train move because it had been soiled. I was going to be to blame and I said to the people around me “sorry, I cant let that happen in front of me”. I asked the security if the train could move and he said “yes if you are ok with the smell”. I said “he hadn’t done much” to the sound of some laughter from others. I said “if this was london or new york someone would take a shit on the train and it would keep going”.

Some guys from the country behind us started telling a story about a friend of theirs who once took a shit on a bus.

The train pulled out of the station minus one pissy pantsy knacker. My twi slight regrets are that I didn’t call him ‘bitch’ like Jessie Pinkman. The other was that I didn’t push him in the back as he was pissing. This would have given him something extra to remember the night by. In all honesty though, I would be too worried in case even a drop got anywhere near me.

Spanish farmers dump fruit at German consulate

From front page of Fridays FT

rage against the milkman

Our taxi home from town last night got stuck in a faceoff versus a milk van. We were in a narrow street with only enough room for one vehicle to go in either direction. The milk van was stopped and we waited. The driver got back in and started to do the old italian flick of the hand off the chin, making it look like he was telling the driver of the taxi to move back and to fuck off at the same time. The taxi driver could have moved back a bit but decided to have an argument as a matter of principle. The driver of the milk van pulled it forward a few feet and the lights were shining straight at us and then he got out and the shouting started. It was “you move back”, “no you move back” etc. We were saying “we are getting out” and “no we are not”. The drivers wanted to “call the gardai”. This was waking people in the neigbouring houses no doubt.

There was an older guy doing the milk deliveries and he really classied up the situation by shouting at the (african) taxi driver “at least we pay tax and insuranccccccccccccce” he even threw his body into it and jumped towards the door as he said it. I doubt he even pays his tax and insurance but it sure was nice of him to project his hatred of 1000 black men onto the one he was having an argument. Daft racist.

One of the guys in the taxi with us asked them for a pint of milk. They wanted a euro. It was a rip off so he declined. Seems everyone has a price.

enda kenny vs bruce buffer

2011-05-24 11:40:53

Obama vs Randy ‘The Natural’ Couture

First few seconds of this:

Embedding Disabled, Click for Youtube Video

vs

the reality of Corrib policing

‘Give me your name and address or I’ll rape you’: the reality of Corrib policing

http://vimeo.com/21952231

Excerpt from recording by confiscated video camera in a Garda vehicle on March 31st, 2011, after the arrest of two women at Aughoose for public order-related offences relating to the Corrib gas project.

“Crusty camp” is a reference to the Rossport Solidarity Camp where the two women had been staying.

Garda A: “Who is them two lassies, do you know the two of them?

Garda B: “I don’t know the second one, the first one is with blonde hair.”

Unidentified garda: “She was up on the tractor earlier on.”

Garda A: “It’d do no harm to get the second one’s name again?

Garda B: “She’s some Yank. I don’t know who the f**k she is.”

Unidentified garda: “ Is she a Yank?

Garda B: “It sounds like it, it sounds like it, the accent anyway

Unidentified garda: “Sounds like a Yank or Canadian.”

Garda B: “Well whoever, we’ll get Immigration f**king on her.”

Garda A: “She refused to give her name and address and told she would be arrested.”

Garda B : “…….and deported”

Garda A: “And raped.”

Garda B: “I wouldn’t go that far yet….. She was living down at that crusty camp, f**k sake, you never know what you might get.”

Garda A: “Give me your name and address or I’ll rape you.”

Unidentified Garda: “Hold it there, give me your name and address there, I’ll rape you.”

Garda A : “Or I’ll definitely rape you.”

Unidentified garda: “Will you be me friend on Facebook?”

irishtimes.com

look at these assholes

irishtimes.com:

The Garda Síochána Ombudsman Commission has received 28 complaints about the behaviour of gardaí following a protest organised by the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) last week. Some 25,000 people participated.

unintelligent psychotic mucksavage asshole

If you thought the behaviour of the Gardai was about to change, think again. In this video there are beatings of people sitting on the street, hair pulling, baton charging, dragging of an unconscious person around the place. The Gardai try to drive the people back with horses and dogs and their vans and genearally beat whoever they want. Saddam would be proud of such thuggery. Other countries would be ashamed, sadly the fight for Ireland has been won by the knackers in charge. There is no such thing as due process with these goons, instead it is instant justice, Irish style.

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too good looking

for the second week in a row in the newspapers:

ONE of the leading actors in RTÉ’s hit new crime drama Love/Hate has dismissed criticism that the cast are “too good-looking” to accurately portray gangland Ireland.

Bríain Gleeson, who plays gangster Hughie Power, said the suggestion was “rubbish and indicative of the particular mindset that people have that every one of those involved in criminality are uncaring about their appearance. A lot of these guys are gym buffs who really look after themselves, so that argument just does not wash.

They were urging viewers to hang on until the end of the season. There was a scene last night where Hughie was doing coke that looked like sugar in a caravan with a traveller. They had just murdered someone. The traveller got his head beaten in with a snookerball in a sock (there just happened to be one lying around). He got finished off with a rock. This was all far from glamorous. Read more of this post

bands boycott crawdaddy

but it is not because of the smell of shit that has been wafting around downstairs –

On Sept. 11 2010, security at Crawdady, Harcourt St. assaulted several member of the audience and a member of a band, who was subsequently arrested and released, without charge, because he did nothing wrong. The security were seen hitting at least one girl. Several more people were injured. We will not stand for uniformed thuggery.

There is a facebook group and a youtube video that doesnt really show much.

not english, not irish, pikey

Famed in England for shoddy tarmac, famed in Ireland for beating each other with sledge hammers and the like. Lets face it, with names like Joyce and McDonagh, can they be anything but Irish ?

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paper st. soap company

Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

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