impatient, obnoxious, petty, argumentative, and obsessed over meaningless details

Tag Archives: Fail

irish girl suntanning / supernova

Like a supernova sucking in all the light around it:

Any of a class of violently exploding stars whose luminosity after eruption suddenly increases many millions of times above its normal level. Like novas, supernovas undergo a tremendous, rapid brightening lasting a few weeks, followed by a slow dimming, and show blue-shifted emission lines on spectroscopy, which implies that hot gases are blown outward. Unlike a nova, a supernova explosion is a catastrophic event for a star, leading to its collapse into a neutron star or black hole. Amounts of its matter equal to the mass of several Suns may be blasted into space with such energy that the exploding star outshines its entire home galaxy. Only seven supernovas are known to have been recorded before the 17th century, the most famous in AD 1054; its remnants are visible today as the Crab Nebula. The closest and most studied supernova in modern times is SN 1987A, which appeared in 1987 in the Large Magellanic Cloud. Supernova explosions release not only tremendous amounts of radio energy and X-rays but also cosmic rays; in addition, they create and fling into interstellar space many of the heavier elements found in the universe, including those forming Earth’s solar system.

Implosion is more accurate:

Implosion is a key part of the gravitational collapse of large stars, which can lead to the creation of supernovae, neutron stars and black holes.


taking a piss on the luas

why its just like the hills

I had a strange night in the suburbs at stepaside. I made the mistake of believing my old colleagues who said it was near the luas. I got directions over the phone from somebody from a romania who punctuated every sentence with the word “right”. I naturally got lost a few times. The place was dull and seemed to be populated by young families and dudes in pimped out bmws.

After an hour of Jay Z on MTV I knew this night had gone down the shitter, it was only a matter of how far down we would be at the end. I was glad I had only brought two beers. I even considered pouring half of my second one down the sink and going somewhere else. We watched some youtube and ate some pizza and decided to call it quits and to try to find the luas again.

At night the place looked much different. The apartment blocks that I saw being assembled from the back of a truck a few years ago actually looked nice a few hours later. In the daytime you notice an open face mine and some tv aerials in the background. You can also see how the exposed timber that is not yet 5 years old is starting to rot.

They way home was even less fun. The wait between trains was 17 minutes. We spotted some young guys on the platform and Nick said “they will be providing tonight’s entertainment”, and how right he was. The alpha knacker in the soiled tracksuit looked like he had sat on mud. He threw a bottle onto the street but it failed to break and just bounced along, he was probably disappointed by that showing. He was on the train and his antics just grew. He tried to take his friends jacket off and throw it out the door at the next stop. After that I heard him say “my brother was too afraid to smoke on the luas”. He put a rolled cigarette up to his lips and said “but I am not my brother” and he lit it. When nobody reacted in any way to what he had done he got up and opened the window. When we stopped at the next station he was looking around to make sure he was not going to be caught. He had his back to us and I started saying “they are here, they are here”.

I wished out loud that the security would get on the train and catch him. Once this round had ended without him showing something good he decided to up the ante and whip out his (presumably small) penis and urninate on the wall of the train. I said “I am calling the cops, get off the train”. He legged it to the front of the train and one of his mates too. His other friend stayed and said “he is only drunk”. I said “get off the train” and he left too. Then we stopped at dundrum and the security stepped on the train and I pointed at the piss and told them to look for a guy in a tracksuit at the end of the train. As they walked along the carriages he walked out the door. As he was going by us I said “that’s right you little fucking asshole” and he scurried up the stairs with his tail between his legs.

The security did not want to let the train move because it had been soiled. I was going to be to blame and I said to the people around me “sorry, I cant let that happen in front of me”. I asked the security if the train could move and he said “yes if you are ok with the smell”. I said “he hadn’t done much” to the sound of some laughter from others. I said “if this was london or new york someone would take a shit on the train and it would keep going”.

Some guys from the country behind us started telling a story about a friend of theirs who once took a shit on a bus.

The train pulled out of the station minus one pissy pantsy knacker. My twi slight regrets are that I didn’t call him ‘bitch’ like Jessie Pinkman. The other was that I didn’t push him in the back as he was pissing. This would have given him something extra to remember the night by. In all honesty though, I would be too worried in case even a drop got anywhere near me.

Ireland: before you were hot

I have been looking at what is happening in other parts of the world and then I see what is on TV3 (I know) in Ireland tonight, Friday night. I had not seen the Irish ‘come dine with me’ this but had read about it and was dreading it. They showed the finale of the series and it was in Cork. It is close to being the most tacky shit I have ever seen.

Young girl really hated winner woman and got in an argument with her and accused her of being thick.I think Winner actually confessed to being thick in relation to a separate part of the show. They showed her with food in her teeth and it was an all around classy affair. They even brought out the prize money on a silver tray with a lid and the woman who won it threw the money in the air.

Then came this shite where Irish people thought they were celebrities and/or rich and/or famous (because this is what people obsessed with here). They had Mike Tysons cockney ex-wife and Rosanna in the highest cutting peoples toenails. Vile.

This whole Irish fascination with being a celb can only be described as similar to before you were hot, a website where people look for appreciation for how they are now hot but when younger were ugly ducklings

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Sorry but mountains of ugg boots is just not enough. I am not saying that people are not obsessed with this stuff in other countries but it seems they are in the UK/America/Hollywood/Ireland. I hope we dont infect people in other parts of the world but I have given up hope for burberry addicted China.

Back in the real world my country is pretending to be saving money however nobody believes we are making a serious effort because we cut wages for the “stars” at the national TV station from 600k to 400k (fail).

And in the actual real world:

(no actual footage of helicopter attack)


I used to hate twitter but now I follow it for news. I do read some things from other people but most of the time I don’t see what they say unless I am in the mood for a diversion. I want to point out that I am not really into it for the celebrity factor (with the exception of Arianny Celeste).

I find it amazing how this method of communication has become a household name so quickly in the last year. A few weeks ago people talked about Ryan Giggs and Wayne Rooney in relation to things that were being said. As far as I can tell, people in the public eye were not that keen on engaging with the very people they are now engaging with in a very open way. It has turned into a must have for celebs, politicians, companies, news outlets etc.

People I saw on CNBC today were discussing the merits and demerits of having one. Someone was bullshitting saying how twitter is like looking into someones soul whereas a facebook account was more than likely a fake profile … I do not understand the logic but they were just trying to fill time. Someone called him out on it and the segment ended soon after that. After that they had Jim Cramer who is insane and freaks out massively. He had a bit of a nervous breakdown on twitter a few weeks ago, flaming the flamers (people who are agitating him). Here are some of his public messages:

Today I saw him talking about how much he likes to read it and tailor his presentations to those who comment on his show… Jim and others are obsessed with the number of people who are following them. Some get upset with those who un-follow them. Some even freak out about people who subsequently start re-following.

It also seems to be an outlet for people to put themselves in the same environment of the people they want to be the most. It is easy to measure pecking order by the number of people who hang on your every word.

updated: Graham Linehan in a twitter fight with BBC guy who breached their twitter rules. It seems they wanted to give it a bad review in a roundabout way but it turned into something else.


Basketball star in hot trouble after tweeting about how ‘ugly’ his blind date is:

A DAY AFTER the NBA fined him for undisclosed tweeting violations, Gilbert Arenas returned to Twitter to document a blind date gone wrong yesterday. On Tuesday, Gilbert announced on his Twitter, “yes the nba has fined me … for being to awesome …”


Spanish farmers dump fruit at German consulate

From front page of Fridays FT

who is the jackeen now ?

Queen grateful to people of Cork for memorable visit

A WARM thank you to the people of Cork has been extended by Queen Elizabeth for making her visit a memorable and honourable occasion.

The welcome extended to the Queen by the people of Cork who lined the Grand Parade to see her was noted in a letter addressed to Lord Mayor of Cork Michael O’Connell.

The letter of thanks from the Queen’s deputy private secretary at Buckingham Palace, Edward Young, arrived at City Hall in Cork on Monday.

Large crowds cheered the arrival of Queen Elizabeth in Cork on the final day of her four-day visit to the Republic, as gardaí relaxed security allowing the monarch to greet crowds at the English Market.

“Please would you tell the people of Cork that the warmth of their welcome was deeply moving and greatly appreciated,” Mr Young wrote.

The Queen described her visit as “particularly memorable” and extended her thanks for the gifts she received on her visit, including a brooch, a hamper full of products traditionally sold at the English Market and a book detailing the history of the shopping district.

“The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh have asked me to thank you for your support in making their visit to the English Market such a memorable occasion.

“It was such a colourful and lively visit, as well as a wonderful opportunity for Her Majesty and His Royal Highness to meet members of the public,” the letter said.

Good wishes from the Queen were extended to Cork City Council staff, gardaí, traders and “all those involved in making the visit such a success”. The monarch’s visit has sparked a flurry of interest in the region among tourists, with searches for Cork on the website up 74 per cent to date this month.

    jackeen – a Dubliner. Dublin was always seen as the most “English” city in Ireland by provincials and this was coined as a term of derision stemming from the English flag, the Union Jack, by adding the diminuitive, -een. Literally, “Little Jack”. Derived from “shoneen”, a sort of “working-class West Brit”.

city hall cork during queens visit - art travel pictures / flickr

thecraic, irishtimes

Thanks Gerry for da info.

chill as a cucumber

Some fucking asshole from the food safety authority was on the news yesterday saying:

“The public is being urged to buy Irish in the wake of a deadly outbreak of E coli bacteria poisoning in Europe, which has claimed 10 lives and left hundreds seriously ill”.

Such vile callousness for the people who have died in a lame way. Why not ‘”to be safe don’t eat cucumbers”? We should be sending vegetables from Ireland to thank the Germans for the money they stupidly lent us, twice now and probably a third or fourth or fifth time (like washing and feeding a heroin junkie in rehab who sneaks out every night for another hit’).

I thought it was such a terrible way to go. Terrible until I found out someone in Hong Kong had previously tried to commit suicide by sticking one up his arse:

    A MAN taken to hospital to have a cucumber removed from his bottom told doctors he inserted it in a SUICIDE attempt.
    Chin Wei, 62, claimed the method was a variation of ritual suicide hara-kiri – usually carried out with a SWORD plunged into the belly.
    He was found in a pool of blood by his daughter in Hong Kong.
    Medics said a severe tear to the man’s rear was not life-threatening.


The title of the post is from Pineapple express:

    Red: Why don’t you follow his lead and just chill out, man?
    Dale Denton: I’m chill. I’m chill as a cucumber, man.
    Red: You don’t seem chill.
    Dale Denton: I’m more chill than you.
    Red: You’re more chill than me?
    Dale Denton: Yeah.
    Red: Look what I’m wearing. Kimono, dog. What’re you wearing?
    Dale Denton: A suit.
    (sadly this bit is missing from the video I found)
    Red: Yeah, exactly. I don’t know what’s up with you, but I don’t know if I like you.
    Dale Denton: Well, I don’t know if I like you either

cardinal charged with investigating sex abuse charged with sex abuse

    (GENOA) – The latest sex abuse case to rock the Catholic Church is unfolding in the archdiocese of an influential Italian Cardinal, who has been working with Pope Benedict XVI on reforms to respond to prior scandals of pedophile priests.
    Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51 year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday on pedophilia and drugs charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile phone conversations Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. “I do not want 16-year-old boys, but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are OK. Look for needy boys, who have family issues,” he allegedly said. Genoa Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco, who is also head of the Italian Bishops Conference, had been working with Benedict to establish a tough new worldwide policy released this week on how bishops should handle accusations of priestly sex abuse

update: it was a priest in his diocese, not actually the cardinal


oooh ahhhh

I wonder if he got out and pushed. Its a bit Irish.

Celebrate good Obama come on

worst tattoos in MMA

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