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impatient, obnoxious, petty, argumentative, and obsessed over meaningless details

Monthly Archives: June 2011

michael jackson gave aaron carter cocaine

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Michael Jackson was always deeply concerned about children of course, and by that I mean he was concerned they might tell after he raped them. Like this little snitch Aaron Carter is now doing. What a little tattle-tale.

Aaron tells OK! how MJ gave him drugs and alcohol when he was just 15.
‘I never talked about it… This is the first time. I do… I miss Michael… I have spent such incredible times with him. I did things with him that nobody else did… But I was also troubled about what he did to me,’ Aaron says.
When asked whether Michael gave him alcohol, Aaron tells Daphne, ‘Yes, he gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15.’ As for drugs? ‘He gave me cocaine. I felt weird about that and other stuff… We spoke afterwards, hours and hours, on the phone. I admired Michael, but his behaviour bothered me a lot. Then my mother called the police…’

I think it goes without saying that it’s wrong to loosen teenagers up with wine and cocaine so you can have sex with them. Wine and weed works a lot better. The coke makes them all paranoid and jittery.

I really like the last paragraph.

wwtdd

The awkward moment when

your friend's FAT arm makes you look naked !!

Sick. thanks Rog

rogue handicap

My rogue disabled neighbour has been getting people clamped even when they are parking in their assigned spaces – the one they have assigned to me has a wheelchair painted on it which makes me look like an asshole for parking there. (I don’t mind if handicapped people are making handicapped faces).

He seems to think the laws of the street apply to the basement. One of my neigbours had their car clamped over the weekend for parking in my space! I met the neighbours Gary and Rachel as I was in theirs and they left a note on my car. I was egging them on that it was the handicapped parker who done it. Gary wanted me to pay half the fine but I wouldn’t and told him he would get it reimbursed. I told him the disabled motorist can walk properly and probably only suffers from a speech impediment (this is from an episode of curb your enthusiasm). As luck would have it the disabled motorist arrived on the scene and it all kicked off. Gary the goatee D4 neighbour told Matthew the middle aged disabled motorist from England that he didn’t even have a real handicap. Matthew has one of those ball things on his steering wheel that truckers and farmers have to help them turn. He took his hand off the ball and motioned that his hand was his disability. Gary told him that there was nothing wrong with his hand either and that he was spiteful that he couldn’t even pick up the phone and call. I was secretly delighted but told Gary to go away as his argument was going around in circles. After Matthew had left I told Gary that I found it pretty funny. He told me just wanted to vent at him and he suspects that Matthew is one of these cunts who cuts his hand in work and sues for disability. Either way I was the mediator and the agent provocateur and was really happy with getting Gaz to attack Matt about his hand disability that allows him to cheat the system.

Later on I saw Gary pull across the street and park in a bus stop so he could use the atm.

black swan event

the economy is truly fucked

time to embrace the inner Jerry

It all started with an innocent science story published in SPIEGEL, and then in English on SPIEGEL ONLINE . A genetic analysis revealed, of all things, that millions of Britons carry a Germanic gene. Britain, it would seem, is more German than many are comfortable with.

The British press, perhaps predictably, went nuts. Hundreds of articles soon appeared in newspapers across the country. And the Daily Mail published a tongue-in-cheek story headlined “Time to Embrace Your Inner Jerry!” essentially claiming that Germans maybe aren’t all that bad. “The Germans just seem to come here and fit in without any nonsense — and they don’t rape and pillage anymore,” the article reads.
And tabloid The Sun, always eager for a cross-channel gutter press war, even published a quiz. Sample questions: How often do you wear sandals with socks? Ladies, when your armpits are a little hairy, what do you do? What does David Hasselhoff mean to you? By the end of it, readers are left with an accurate depiction of the myriad stereotypes about Germans cherished in Britain. Germans, it would seem, are fashion challenged, ruthlessly efficient (particularly on the football pitch) and often ridiculous — an image the accuracy of which would be difficult to discount.

A Quiz for the Real English

But certainly easy to counter — at least for Germany’s leading mass-circulation tabloid Bild. In service of its ongoing mission to strike back at The Sun whenever necessary, Bild on Friday published a quiz of its own. “Only real English will pass this test,” the headline crows next to a picture of an overweight, tattooed man wearing Union Jack shorts. And the best part is: There are no wrong answers.

How do you most like to drink your beer? A) without a head; B) luke warm; C) by the hectoliter.

What is the correct way to shoot a penalty in football? A) wide left; B) wide right; C) over the top.

When are English women at their most beautiful? A) after 12 beers; B) after a day in the sun; C) in complete darkness.

If you chose all the answers, the solution to the quiz reads, you are the “perfect Englishman.”
So who wins? Clearly the Brits. Bild seems to have forgotten that if half of those sun-burned, fish-and-chips eating violence-prone drunkards from Britain carry a German gene, perhaps it doesn’t reflect terribly well on their own readers.

But at least the two papers can agree on one thing: Whatever function that travelling German gene might have, it clearly isn’t responsible for success at taking penalties.

spiegel

U2 glastonbury protest

GLASTONBURY, England (AFP) – Veteran rockers U2 will face a protest during their long-awaited Glastonbury gig on Friday from campaigners angry at alleged tax dodging by the group.
Direct action group Art Uncut is planning to unfurl a giant inflatable before the cameras as anti-poverty lobbyist Bono and his band take to the Pyramid Stage.
Art Uncut member Anna Walker, 32, said: “Everyone there will see it.
Placards will also be held up declaring “Bono tax dodger” and “Bono pay up”.
Fellow campaigner Charlie Dewar said: “U2′s multimillion-euro tax dodge is depriving the Irish people at a time when they desperately need income to offset the Irish government’s savage austerity programme.
“Tax nestling in the band’s bank account should be helping to keep open the hospitals, schools and libraries that are closing all over Ireland.”

ap

talk to the back

Reminds me of the time I met Enda Kenny in Terminal 5 in Heathrow. He was recommending restaurants in Santa Monica and to go golfing at Pebble Beach (me and a friend were flying to California). He was doing an imitation golf swing as we walked away.

no, you're a bigger asshole

Maybe Sarkozy told him the joke of the day: “Europeans Have Confidence In Greek Govt”

doing coke

The price of cocaine varies greatly between rich countries

EVERY year the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime publishes a report with lots of fascinating data on the production and consumption of illegal drugs around the world. This year’s report highlights a few interesting trends: despite all the effort put into the war on drugs, the street price of cocaine in Europe has dropped relentlessly over the past two decades (even adjusting for inflation and impurity). This may explain why Europe is now almost as big a market for cocaine producers as America. The numbers we have picked out below show the variations in price between a selection of different countries, as well as consumption per person in those places.

economist

The graph should really have details of purity to make it clear how bad the coke is in Ireland. Eamon Dunphy complained in a interview that “you can’t get good coke in this town”

Smoking weed, smoking weed, doing coke, drinking beer.

shitty scottish wedding

thanks to Roger

BAIL OUT!!!

As Greece has promised to slash its bloated public service by 150,000 people by 2015 and effectively end government jobs for life.

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