impatient, obnoxious, petty, argumentative, and obsessed over meaningless details

Monthly Archives: January 2011

ein reich, ein volk, ein martin

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Google captured a marvelous rural scene which rivals Bertie on streetview:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

adolf hipster

A list of Bukowski quotes got me reading about the beat generation. This in turn led to hipsters.

hipsterism fetishizes the authentic” elements of all of the “fringe movements of the postwar era—beat, hippie, punk, even grunge,” and draws on the “cultural stores of every unmelted ethnicity”, and “regurgitates it with a winking inauthenticity.”

adolf on his way to the organic market in temple bar

resignation letter

This email was forwarded to me – seems like life at Oracle is much the same as life in any other IT company:

Greetings, fellow and soon-to-be former co-workers.

Today I have crafted this fine nugget of prose to bid a fond farewell as I step down from my lofty post, ending a lustrous career here at Oracle. First and f! oremost, I’d like to congratulate my superiors for “providing the opportunity to excel”, Much acclaim to my inferiors for allowing me to be luperior; you know who you are!

As most of you probably know, today is my last day. However, before I relinquish my duties, I want to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and unequivocal pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day”.

To say that the past couple of months have been as fun as being constantly jabbed with sharp pointy sticks whilst getting continuously punched in the face by an enraged silverback matriarch gorilla, would be an understatement. The dream that I ! have dreamt on those many sleepless nights of finally leaving this organisation is finally becoming a reality, please know that I could have never reached this colossal goal without managements unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you chose not to express.

I would like to send a special thank you out to my management team; in an age where miscommunication is all too rife, I was consistently galvanised, and dare to go as far as to say inspired, with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong person to admit their mistake – it takes a stronger person to attribute their mistake to me.

Over the last year and half, I have learn many things, more that I could have ever asked for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some interchangeable characters on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – a priceless lesson in overcoming the daily monotonous doldrums of tedium in overcoming the daily monotonous doldrums of tedium in overcoming the daily monotonous doldrums of tedium.

Oracle’s demands were high and its patience short, but I take great alleviation knowing that my work was considered “satisfactory”. That is the brand of praise that would send anybody home happy after an 8 hour day, grimacing my way through mu! ltiple cans of mediocre beer, as the thought of treating myself to something as simple as a beer that doesn’t taste of cat urine, would be too far a stretch on Oracle’s “competitive” salary.

This company succeeds daily in turning bright & talented individuals into husky shells of human beings. I can no longer in good conscience work in an environment so polluted with Napoleonic Personalities.

“May the smoke from the bridges I burn here today be seen far & wide”.

PS. When you’re standing on a burning bridge the view may be kinda hazy.

PPS – Drink at the Epi at 5 then Dicies

PPPS – Don’t send this on to management. I still next month’s pay slip to worry about!

breffnys word

Harvard educated Breffmeister tells us how to do it, clearly inspired by Guidos of Jersey Shore:

justice denied

I got three summons in December for an ‘alleged incident’ that took place in June that I wrote about in always something there to remind you. Garda A tried his best to be fair the day he stopped me but his complete lack of any form of procedure and his shell bracelet annoyed me so much that I drove off without even asking him his name. I didn’t think it was a big deal to be driving a car with my National Car test certificate five months expired and certainly not something worth five points and a fine. I had been travelling all day and I was almost home and I got stopped. I had been at a music festival in Germany. I had to share an armrest on the plane with someone who looked like they had been at the love parade stampede and I did not appreciate the attention of Garda A (whose surname strangely enough ends with ‘ham’). He was standing in the middle of a dark road like Dick Turpin that night in August. He didn’t have a gun out but this image seems to fit my mood today:

Garda B delivered the summonses and was a nice person and he thought it was all a storm in a teacup. He could not believe that I was getting summonsed even though I had produced the relevant paperwork at the Garda station and was going to contact Garda A on my behalf. I went to visit Garda A in the station two nights in a row in December but he was not there. I left a letter and copies of the paperwork with all the details on the first night. I left an envelope too but I didn’t put the letter inside it, hoping that they would all have a read of it. I was told by the female Garda at the counter in the station that it would be struck out. As I waited at the counter ‘the unit’ had just come on duty for the first time that week and males and females were discussing which colleague fancied which other one and who they should put on duty together. The sergent turned to me and said “isnt it mad”. I replied “its the same everywhere”, not quite sure why I had said that. On my visit on the second night Garda A was again not there but he called my phone. He said that if the paperwork checked out he would get it struck out and would call me to confirm.

I never did get the phone call so I went along to court just in case. Read more of this post

wild horses

I had some German friends who were interested in the horse outside video. One of them wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I told her some people thought it was rude and sexist – I presume that was the issue but I dont really know why.

This week in the Irish Times there is a strange article about the Horses of Ireland:

German hearts bleed for the hungry horses of the Green Island

BERLIN LETTER: The media have picked on an odd image to illustrate Ireland’s economic misfortunes

IT’S REMARKABLE the sympathy the Irish get in Germany these days. But it became clear to me this week that these understanding nods and words of support are not intended for us at all.

When a friend this week asked how things were, she interrupted my noncommittal answer with a question: “But what about the horses?”

It seems my German friend is better informed, and more concerned, about the plight of Irish horses than Irish homeowners.

People here have been watching and reading reports filed by German journalists parachuted in from London or further afield. Struggling to grasp events, they have often settled on a narrative of Ireland’s recent history that runs from Wild Man to Wunderkind and back again.

But how to illustrate it? Enter the horses.

The phenomenon of horses abandoned because of the crisis is a real one and has been reported widely in the Irish media, including in this newspaper last September. But reports in Germany and across Europe have conflated two stories, telling shocked viewers that the raggedy pony hobbling across their screens – probably bought at the Smithfield market for €50 – used to be a trophy racehorse. Read more of this post

I can never accept this, never

“It’s like a part of me died that day. I can never accept this, never…” * – this is how I felt seeing Keano and the word failure side by side.

* These are the words of the chilling road safety campaign. I cannot find the video online anywhere but Amanda ‘sofa bed’ Brunker writes about it in da wurdeld.

celebrity fail

Land of Leather would be just as classy:

Mary from X factor:

I wonder if they show her place of work: Read more of this post


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 37 other followers