atoast2toast.com

impatient, obnoxious, petty, argumentative, and obsessed over meaningless details

Monthly Archives: February 2009

poor o’driscoll

2 Comments Posted by on February 28, 2009

Ireland managed to grind out a 1 point win in a filthy game. The english thugs repeatedly tried to murder ireland’s captain brian o’driscoll. In fairness to BOD he kept playing and got the only Irish try* in a hostile encounter. I genuinely feel bad for him; not only did he have the shame of captaining the british lions to new zealand but even when concusssed plays better than the irish kicker, ronan o’gara.

Read more of this post

dublin, rants, satire , ,

guest rant #2 – wheelie bags

2 Comments Posted by on February 28, 2009

this is from the artful Roger who hails from n-zed. I think living in London is getting to him:

I often wonder if modern medicine is such a good thing after all. I mean nature intended that the weak and stupid get weeded out, right? Take for example the people that own those bags with wheels on them. They’re weak, and stupid! Every day on my way to work I pass through a busy railway station. The place is littered with these clowns. It never crosses their tiny little minds that by dragging this thing around they’ve just made their own personal space 4 times the size.

Read more of this post

rants, satire , ,

irelands call

1 Comment Posted by on February 27, 2009

4 members of the Irish rugby team were outside Gotham Cafe last night in their tracksuits. They were led not very successfully by Donncha O’Callaghan.

He looked in the window and everyone in the place looked out at them. I turned away from them to tell my friend that tobasco on a pizza is great. They went away and came back a minute later. Donncha announced it was too much like a place where people go for dinner. Really?

Not really sure what they were after. There were no tables anyway, they would have had to inhale my cigarette smoke if they sat outside with us. If they cant score a table in a restaurant then how can we expect them to score anything but a drunken girl on Saturday?

Read more of this post

satire , , , , ,

txt speek letting agent

Comments Off Posted by on February 27, 2009

I was woken up with a hangover this morning by a text from the lady who is letting me an apartment.

She said “Mornin kevin, how r u today? Waitin for owner to come bac to me about offer i think there r a dey people interested. cheers.”

After deciphering that I told her to put the offer up a small bit, in proper English of course.

Her reply “ok sos it out 1st n u will take move in news week wen wat day suits?”

I thought her 7 year old was using her phone so I replied “what day to move in? Just take it from wed or thurs”

I think she took the phone back from the child as the next message made some sense.

satire , , ,

“I am not on the run – I swear”

Comments Off Posted by on February 27, 2009

I was out to see apartments yesterday and some odd things happened. I found myself at one of my appointments early and called to see if the nice girl could get there a bit sooner. As she pulled up I was replacing the front numberplate of my car. I had to explain that it was broken and that I am not on the run.

It is not really broken, it just needed improvement.

Here is one of the new brake lights from a story last week called face the pain.

Lovely isnt it?

satire ,

U2 idiots

Comments Off Posted by on February 27, 2009

I was speechless, literally without speech last night at 9pm. I saw people lining up on the street to buy themselves copies of the new steamer from the 4 boys from Ballymun at midnight. It was leaked on the internet weeks ago.

With lyrics such as “Free me from the dark dream Candy bars, ice cream” you have to wonder why anyone would even download it. I heard the song on the radio and I think I possibly hate it more than I ever hated anything in my life.

Read more of this post

dublin, rants, satire , , ,

hatebury lane anonymosity

1 Comment Posted by on February 26, 2009

George Costanza (yelling out loud, so everyone can hear): You know, we’re living in a society! We’re supposed to act in a civilized way.

I met a letting agent on Heytesbury lane this morning. I had a print out of the entire price history of the property showing the drops and rises. He didn’t seem to know how much they are or were looking for. I told him “the place is drab and dirty”. He said they would do stuff if I signed a lease for a year and said I would stay for 2, no chance. I said “I don’t want to insult you, call me back if the others are not interested”. I guess I am interested to see if nobody else wants it, I know I dont.

Read more of this post

satire , ,

irish people are revolting

6 Comments Posted by on February 25, 2009

About 100,000 people have taken part in protests in Dublin city centre to vent their anger at the Irish government’s handling of the country’s recession.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7903518.stm

It’s a shame these people didn’t protest on general election day but instead beat the government with the “No to Lisbon” stick.

Read more of this post

dublin, rants, satire , , ,

the summer of rage

Comments Off Posted by on February 25, 2009

It was supposed to be the summer of Kevo!

People in the UK are raging against a Government that spies on its citizens while ignoring the crimes of greedy bankers.

The DNA database containing the samples of hundreds of thousands of entirely innocent people…the largest number of CCTV cameras in the world…anti-terrorist powers being deployed against dog foulers…restrictions on telling religious jokes…

Read more of this post

satire , , ,

suspended in light

Comments Off Posted by on February 25, 2009

Some good news, my lights kept a dude in a silver golf well back from me in traffic. I then realised he had passed me out a few miles later on. The glare of sitting at the lights behind me while my foot was on the brakes was too much for him.

The lights are road legal by the way. My plates arrived but they are very normal. At least I have new frames and can stop advertising the garage run by the uptight eggheaded salesman who sold me the car.

The crowd who sold me the plates have no recollection of 90% of the phone call I had with them. Thats the last time I talk to anyone from Wexford, although the guy was English.

Here is something from wales, possibly the only good thing ever from there: Half man, half machine, what does it mean?

dublin, rants, satire , , , ,

← Older posts

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.